ROMANTIC DESTINATIONS
Romance can be found everywhere and anywhere, its in the air that we breathe, the smiles people give to us and in the things that make us laugh and be happy with our partner. But sometimes romance is in a special place too. We may have found love and romance at home and abroad, on vacation or just in a moment. Yet there are some places that smell of romance, that exude love and simply are romantic destinations and so here we discuss some favorite places that fit the bill.

Just what makes a place a top romantic destination is open to many factors. The first of course may be the weather, warm and sunny appears to be favored by most. Lingering on a soft white beach under swaying palms appeals to all of us who undergo annual cold winters. However, I have been to destinations that have been snowbound, only to find them gorgeously romantic. For me, winter is a great season and my top romantic destinations include some fantastic ski resorts. St Moritz at Christmas is a great example as is Valmorel after a snowfall, or Zermatt on New Year’s Eve. So clearly then it is not just the weather that feeds us romantic feelings about a place though it is a factor.

A top romantic destination has to look right. A pretty village in the Alps is romantic and appealing; a New England village in the Fall is romantic for walking, a walk on a deserted beach on the northern coast of Koh Samui is extremely romantic to hold hands. Where better perhaps that a stroll along the Seine in Paris in early spring to feel overwhelmed by love and romance as you walk hand in hand with your partner. The same may be said of Barcelona in Spring, walking through the squares before the heavy oppression of a hot Mediterranean summer sets in. And here we find more clues in my words, walking and Spring! Walking of course brings a sense of communion and togetherness in any location or destination. We remember walks together fondly in many places whilst springtime is our own regeneration after winter. Springtime is a good season to find romance in a place.

Springtime is for many of us a wake up call, an out with the old in with the new feeling. A time for Spring cleaning, for freshness, for renewal. Clean air, sunlight and flowers. The earth wakes up and so do we. So we are often drawn to romantic destinations that obviate these sensory factors. For example, I have never been so alive as on visiting Amsterdam one spring when the small lanes were alive with the rich color of tulip flower markets. I was overjoyed with a sense of the ability to find romance there.

Romance in a place can be found from its history and architectural properties, which is why so many of the ancient and great cities of the world are poplar romantic destinations for lovers. From the Great Wall of China, to Paris, Rome, Florence, Milan, Amsterdam, Sydney, New York and Vienna, all have a magnificent historical heritage that pervades all and leads us into a sense of historical romance that requires us to take someone’s hand as we breathe in all around us.

So I think that the key elements of top romantic destinations are:
• Weather• Beauty• History• Company• Location
So whilst we live to find romance in the Caribbean and the South Seas, dreaming of white deserted beaches and swaying palms, trade winds and butterfly kisses at dawn or sunset, languid afternoons by the lagoon pools and tropical mischief on a languid evening, let us not forget that there are many destinations across the world that are not only romantic in themselves, but can emphasize the romance that already exists within each of us.

Here are ten of my personal top romantic destinations and romantic places for myself.

Amsterdam in deepest winter
There are fewer places on earth more romantic than Amsterdam in deepest winter in my opinion. Ancient churches, frozen waterways, snow-heavy skies, shimmering shops all nestle along walkways through beautifully old streets in this most pleasant of cultural cities. Its a cultural melting pot where you can find romance on every corner. Combine ancient cobbled streets of lilting Dutch town houses, set against frozen canals, people scuttling along on cycles, starlit book shops crowding in sulky corners, fabulous food stores, eateries and restaurants, bars that are heaven-sent and the relaxed nature of the Dutch and it is a vibrant and exciting city ideal for a first break away with a loved-one. With bells tolling from churches at dawn, the shimmering waters of canals everywhere, ancient beautiful architecture, flowers on street corners, this city is most certainly picturesque. The winter and snows certainly add the topping to a place that already exudes history and you can imagine yourself with your loved on starring in your very own European cinematic romance set against a beautiful and vivid backdrop. Firmly recommended.

Hong Kong at Sunset
To many the romance of Hong Kong can be easily missed. A bustling metropolis acting as a gateway to a throng a different Asian cultures, Hong Kong certainly doesn’t stand still. But amongst it all are two of the most amazing sights on earth that should only be witnessed with your loved one. The first is sitting in the Peninsula hotel top floor bar on the Kowloon side watching sunset and darkness fall upon Honk Kong itself. As day turns to night you can take the hand of your loved on and watch as neon begins to light up probably one of the seven most wondrous views in the modern world. All taken with a Gin and Tonic. If this is how we find romance, then it's the best.

The other is to repeat the exercise of sunset but this time by taking the cable car to the top of the Peak. Go behind the peak café and restaurant to the viewing platform where you can watch sunset over Kowloon, but this time make sure that you kiss you partner for a long time. Because you will remember it forever.

Niagra Falls in Late Spring
Until you have seen the horseshoes falls from the Canadian side in late Spring, you haven’t lived. Spectacular this place is, beyond belief. Take your partner, book into the hotel at its side and spend the most romantic weekend of your life. Love and romance your partner here until they melt. I can’t add any more to this because you just have to take your loved one and go there – today. Why late spring? Well at this time of year the warm sun gives the entire falls a golden glow that makes it such a romantic place. Take a glass of champagne in one had and the hand of your loved one in the other ands find romance here for yourselves.

Anchorage Alaska on the longest day
Romantic destinations take many forms but I found the experience of Anchorage, a beautiful place in the summer, awe inspiringly beautiful. For me it is a place of love and romance as much as of breathtaking scenery. You may be surprised that I list it as one of my favorite romantic places but you just have to visit and relax in this beautiful place. There are so many things to do with your partner in this area that you will lose count, but I think that around June 21st when it remains light for most of the night is so much of an experience that it’s a time and place for something special. It is a top romantic destination for sure. It’s a place to feel alive and share something emotional and help that feeling of togetherness. A special place.

Bali in October
As far as romantic places go, this is perfect. This has to be one of the world's top romantic destinations, especially for couples. As it’s a tropical isle it doesn’t become romantic because of its climate, though it does reek of paradise after getting away from the airport. I’d point you and your chose partner straight towards the Bali Cliff resort at the southern tip of the island or Lovina Beach on the northern coast. Either places at this time of the year are quiet whilst the weather remains perfect. If I was to choose the perfect place for a date, to embody the love and romance of my relationship, or even maybe to propose, I’d choose Lovina beach at dawn in an outrigger canoe as the dolphins race past chasing tuna and the sun breaks the horizon. It doesn’t get any more romantic or special than this. Just save it to say 'I do'.

Paris in early Spring
As far as romantic places go, Paris has to be a prime choice in my book. Traditional it may be, but romantic, it most certainly is. Spring time has to be the perfect season too. Culture, history, gastronomic delights, superb wine and walks beyond all walks. Take your partner to the top of the Eiffel tower, over to the Louvre to see the Mona Lisa and then shoot about the metro visiting Montmartre and the Left bank then take a long walk together along the many tree lined boulevards. The essence of Paris is the simple act of being together walking, visiting and seeing and finding romance in private. Its special, it is one of my favorite romantic places at any time of year but I loved Paris in early spring and I think you both will too.

The English Lake District in early Winter
The English Lakes in north-western England is loved by many during the summer months but the things that brings it romance is the solace that winter brings. But I believe it is a top romantic destination at this time of year. I find romance here when the ancient villages are quiet, the restaurants available and we can walk where we please. There are a plethora of well-hidden Lakeland hotels nestling in trees ready to cater as a lovers paradise. If you are looking for log fires, thick rugs, four poser beds and romantic walks round local lakes then go in November or January and I’d go as far as saying that it’s the perfect place to fall in love.

New York in February
What hasn’t been written about New York may not be worth writing. But for me New York in February is the epitome of classic romance and one of the top romantic destinations for anyone. How many romantic movies have been made in this city – lots, and this is for a reason. Why is it romantic? Easy, combine cold, snow, superb shopping and ice skating in central park and you have everything that is perfect about close times together. Sightseeing is unlimited, restaurants with tables for two are everywhere and I believe there is something special about wrapping up warm and getting outdoors with the person you love. If you are going to find love and romance in a city, its possible it will be New York. Walking in Central park in the snow has got to be a life long memory of how love really should be.

Cyprus before Summer
It’s the birthplace of Venus, what more needs to be said about finding love and romance. Stick to the west side of this island around Paphos for perfect sunsets, sun for 360 days a year, remote bays and fresh seafood. Top quality hotels abound and this is essential for many romantic destinations. But the single thing that makes this island romantic for me are the lonely drives by car up into the fresh alpine interior. Seemingly unexplored valleys, high passes and the sweet scent of pine everywhere, this is a beautiful place. Open the door and breathe, then kiss each other. Deeply. Definitely one of my top romantic destinations of all to find romance in a sunset.

Koh Samui in November
Why not round the year off with one of my favorite romantic places on earth. The island of Koh Samui in the Thai gulf is more famous for its near-neighbour which is the inspiration for the book and movie, The Beach. But the reason I list this as a top romantic destination isn’t the quaint airport with wooden huts in a jungle clearing, or the Golden Buddha on the northern coast, it’s the simple delight at this time of year of taking a small beach bungalow with your loved one and walking bare footed on white sand beaches and treading the first footsteps of the day. Or using a fallen coconut as a drinking vessel and play ball. Watch endless sunsets and find romance in the moment, eat perfect food in quiet surroundings and imagine you are both lost at sea. It’s a place to be with someone, to be quiet, to be solitary and to feel very much the love and romance of the place.



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ENDING A BAD DATE
The guy that you have fancied for ages has asked you out on a date, and you've spent all day getting ready. Then when he turns up, he looks like he's been dragged through a hedge backwards, and that's just his hair! He's wearing a tatty t-shirt and an old pair of jeans, while you are all made up. It’s too late to get changed, so you leave with him anyway. Where does he take you? Yes you've got it - to your local pub or bar, where he spends have the night talking to his buddies, and the other half talking about them. Then to top it off, he takes you for MacDonalds. The whole date was a complete disaster. He is not the guy you thought he was, and you don't know why you ever fancied him in the first place.

So what do you do when it is time to say good night? How do you avoid the end of the date kiss? And how do you let him down gently without being too harsh?

It is obvious you have no intention of seeing him again, so don't beat about the bush. Just get straight to the point. Sometimes being nice just doesn't work. Being too nice to a guy that you have no interest in, can lead to mixed signals, giving them the wrong idea and sometimes unwanted advances.

Making your exit through a toilet window is not the way to escape the situation. Neither is popping to the loo with your bag and coat and escaping out of the front door. It works and is useful as a desperate measure if the date is really bad, but it is better to deflect the situation and call the date to an end amicably. Leaving someone standing is a bad way to work and should only occur if you are feeling deeply uncomfortable.

First off - thank him for a nice date, and explain (gently) that you don't feel that there is any chemistry. You may prefer to do this by phone at a later stage. If he asks for a second chance, and asks you to go on another date with him; you must be firm with him. If you don't want to have any kind of relationship with the guy, then you have to make it quite clear.

Don't tell him that you want to be friends, unless you are really serious about being his friend and actually believe it can happen. If you don't want to see him again, make this very clear and avoid any contact with him at all. Even giving in to a good night kiss will send out the wrong signal and that is the last thing you want.

Men are not good at reading signals and mistake many gestures you make towards them. They can take rejection badly but being cruel to be kind is the way forward. You need to keep a cool head but make things clear. If you were going out as a friend in the first place you should make this clear in advance otherwise you will end up trying to explain his advances are unwanted later and he will want to know why. Dating for men is as tricky as it is for women and therefore you owe it to yourself and your date to end things amicably, but swiftly if it is simply not what you are looking for.

That way both people can move forward.

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THE RULES OF DATING
The problem with the dating game is that there are dating rules to follow and most of them we forget as we grow older. You see, when we are young our fellow friends at school and college reinforce the way things should be done when dealing with potential dates. Yes you should wear that, no you never say that, yes you should do this, but no you never do that. Then we grow up. For a time we are completely aware of the rules of dating and we practice those rules every time we meet someone. But then we meet someone perhaps, fall in love and have a relationship. Little by little the things we learned over our formative years when dealing with the fairer sex are lost and are in fact unlearned.

Then one day we are unwillingly thrust back onto the dating scene only to find that we start behaving like 12 year olds. We call our dates too often, we are constantly available, we wear the wrong clothes, laugh at bad jokes like a fool, date the wrong people and generally get it all badly wrong. Then we get hurt or taken for a ride. Of course there will be some of you reading this that are the very epitome of dating sophistication, but the truth is, when you lose your heart you also lose your head. If you are going to date well then give these key do's and don'ts of dating some serious consideration. Dating rules are very important if you want to win and keep your perfect match.

Dating Rules - Do's

1. Do try to look your best and be punctual on dates

2. Do have fun when dating. I know the subject of Mr. or Miss Right is serious but dating is fun too so keep it that way.

3. Do flatter and compliment your date on the way they look and the things they wear. People tend to go to a lot of effort on a date (hopefully) so being told that you are looking good is a nice thing to hear.

4. Be interested and interesting. As the Pet Shop Boys once said, I was never bored because I was never being boring" or something similar. You get my drift.

5. Do tell someone if you are not interested in dating them again. Being lied to and hopes kept alive is an evil and malicious act (yes I mean it that strongly). If you don't want to see someone again then let them know that in the nicest possible way you can.

6. Do date the type of people you like and are attracted to, whatever your friends may say. Approval by your peers doesn't prove a thing.

7. Do stay positive even when dates don't end well. It is most certainly true that you will date a few frogs before you find a prince. Along the way you will meet some nice people too and make some good contacts possibly.

8. Dating is a creative diversion, it requires concentration and energy so when you are dating keep some plans in the forefront of your mind and allow dating to take you to places you always wanted to visit within your own city.

9. Do make dating happen for yourself. People will not come and ring your bell from nowhere. Dating requires positive action so go out there and meet people, as many people as you can. Practice your chat and flirting on shop workers, bar attendants, anywhere and everywhere. Being nice to people is very sexy and great fun.

10. Do surround yourself with positive like minded people who are also dating. Think about the girls from Sex and the City and how they assist each other in dating and matters of romance. Negative friends who don't condone the dating scene or don't understand it will only help lower your own expectations and make you feel negative.

Dating Rules - Don'ts

1. Never call someone more than once a day unless they reply. Desperation and instability are huge turn offs.

2. Don't date the people who you usually find dump you. You may be generally attracted to bastards but that will not get you anywhere except hurt.

3. For men, never ever be late for a date, even if you have a very good reason. Women should never be kept waiting and should never have to seat themselves - ever.

4. Never tell lies to your date or pretend anything about your life that isn't true. If this is your perfect match for God's sake do not allow it to be ruined by some silly lie told early on.

5. Never be too available. Being available every night of the week and at the end of every whimsical phone call or possible rendezvous means you are making yourself uninteresting and a possible doormat. Be busy, be unavailable generally and be interesting.

6. Don't give away too much about yourself at the start. People love enigma and mystery. Revealing to your new date your inner most secrets on date number two will quickly ruin everything. A small bit at a time people.

7. Never check other people out when you are with your date. You may think you are subtle, your date will be heading for the door. Have the courtesy of concentrating solely on your date when you are with them.

8. Don't be rude or get drunk on a date. Courtesy and manners will get you everywhere.

9. Don't ignore your personal safety when dating. Have a cellular phone and keep it charged, tell your friends where you are going and be safe. Date at first in well known public places and never ever be pushed into anything you are not happy with.

10. Don't give out personal information like home phone numbers and addresses on a first date. Keep them until you are sure of your date and the future possibilities.

11. Don't have sex on a first date if you ever want to see your new date again. If you like them and are interested in them, sex on a first date will usually ruin everything. Its too much too soon and is not the way of romance. Believe me I am 100% certain on this.

12. Never date a married person. They will not leave their husbands or wives for you (except exceptionally rarely). Married dating is the sure fire way to misery, lies, deceit, lack of self respect and loss of romance. If you are married, separate first. If you are single, don't be a shoulder to cry on, you deserve far better.

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POTENTIAL PARTNERS
Dating can be as tricky a business as can trying to find a date. When we begin dating, we often forget to consider what we are looking for in others we would like to meet. We set off with a definite view of the perfect dating partner. The moment we are introduced to someone, or view some photos of profiles or personal ads online – we forget everything! Why is this? Because we are swayed by many factors, in other words, we are not as set in our ways as much as we like to think we are.

Beauty, of course, often holds sway. However much we like to say we are not, there are few of us who wouldn’t date someone attractive. It is in our blood and we would usually say yes to an attractive person. Beauty tends to rub off on those around it, so if we associate ourselves with what we consider are good looks we immediately feel good about ourselves also. Most of us are not models and therefore we tend not to meet those who are but we notice it in the things around us. If you can appreciate something beautiful, then you can also appreciate someone beautiful. To ignore it is a lie.

However, if we simply lived and dated by beauty alone we would be too shallow to succeed in any real sense. We would have 2 dimensional personalities and be uninteresting in any meaningful way. It is often leveled as a criticism in attractive people that they don’t have very strong personalities because they have traded on their looks for too long. Conversely, a conventionally unattractive person can often have a strong and interesting personality to make up for the lack of attractiveness in a physical sense. So it’s clear that as an isolating factor beauty (or more specifically, physical attraction) is to some extent important but it is not the only important thing when dating others.

We look for humor in a person because we want them to feel good by being with us and we want them to feel good about themselves in their decisions. We also want ourselves to feel good and to relax and have fun and a great time. Therefore when we date someone, humor is a must if we are going to ever reach a level of relaxation in the company of that person. Laughter and humor is about creating a mental connection and understanding about the world around us. It is a demonstration of a commonly accepted set of beliefs between us and it allows a demonstration of a level of understanding quickly not known in almost any other form.

When dating others, we look for eye contact upon meeting because it is the most direct sense of understanding and truth and honesty. We almost always look at each other’s eyes first when we meet as this is where we first find attraction. It is beyond me here to explain why that may be but I do like the expression that our eyes are the gateway to the soul. I tend to agree. The smallest change in the glint of our eye conveys so many emotions and it is thus that we first begin our instant relationship.

When dating others we look for common understanding and acceptance. We do not seek partners as judges but as part of our own emotional support system. We like to admire and to be admired, however subtly. In another parlance, we would say that we appreciate and like being appreciated. Either way, we enjoy the company of another because we make each other feel good about themselves. It’s an unspoken understanding. Where relationships begin to crack later is where the understanding and support is replaced by criticism due to internal frustrations of lack of support. Initially when we date, this understanding and acceptance is displayed through many different methods from conversation and laughter in agreement on a topic, to agreement in places to visit on dates and food to eat, drinks to consume, movies to go see etc. It’s all part of agreeing based on a common understanding, finding the common ground between us.

We look for honesty and truth when dating. It can be like one long test, especially when we are not new to the dating game and have had our fingers burned previously. We know that it is within everyone to embellish the truth and unfortunately part of the dating ritual is to talk ourselves up, so sell ourselves as worthy. When this happens we must be careful not to go too far and add things that are untrue. Later our burgeoning relationship could fall apart through such white lies. And yet there are too few of us who stick 100% to the truth alone. There will come a point when we all add in some substance to our conversations to help our image to our date and to be honest this can all be part of the fun. But the basis of honesty has to be maintained when dating otherwise it is a pointless exercise. We are looking to share our quality time with someone so let’s be truthful from the outset.

There is an argument that when we are dating we are seeking someone like ourselves, a reflection of what we already feel about ourselves and the world around us. I think that is a mistaken view. I think what this theory really means is that we want to love and be loved and to allow this to happen we hope to find someone who not only matches some set of important criteria that we set ourselves but also someone who sees the world as we do. Not exactly perhaps, but close enough that we can grow further both as individuals and as a couple.


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BODY LANGUAGE FOR SINGLE WOMEN
This is the language where you don't need any words. Single women have been doing it for hundreds of years - to attract the man they want. Becoming fluent in body language will ensure that you will be skilled in attracting the right man, and sending the get-lost signal to the wrong man.

Eyeing Up the Prize
The more eye contact you establish with the single male target, the better. Start with some sidelong glances. Then, begin with direct eye contact. Once the single man turns to meet your gaze, immediately lower your eyes and smile to yourself, this will tell him that you were watching him and are embarrassed that he caught you - a sure sign of interest. Next, be bold and try holding his stare, flashing a small, open-lipped smile.

If there is a single man that is giving you the eye and you are not interested, look away from him and don’t look back at him again. When in conversation, looking at the ceiling and all around the room also shows a definite lack of interest.

First Impressions Count
You leave your home ready to go to a party when you spot your gorgeous single neighbour, and he doesn't give you a second glance. Why? You aren't dressed your best. When you enter a room, most single people look to see who has come in. This is when you have to make an impression. Looking your best will make you feel your best. So make sure that before you leave your front door, look your best, and you never know you might just attract the attention of that gorgeous single neighbour.

The Hand Job (no, not what you are thinking!)
Even without direct contact, your hands can send very powerful messages. There are a number of ways to convey that you want to get to know someone. Keeping your hands unclenched shows you're open to single men. Using your hands to caress objects, such as the rim of your glass, locks of your hair, or the sleeve of your blouse, in a rhythmic (as opposed to fidgety) manner, can be a sensual act. And for the braver hands, try picking fluff off his jacket, touching him to punctuate a point, or using the "accidental touch" when reaching for the salt.

Hands that are jammed in pockets, busy cleaning glasses, or balled in tight fists are all bad signs. Fingers tapping, drumming, pointing, or wagging are also signals to move on.

Stand Out
Your posture is one of the most telling signals you transmit. An open posture is evidence of an open person. Turning your body toward the single man you're conversing with, keeping your feet flat on the floor and leaning forward are actions that show interest. As well, slightly tilting your head, crossing and uncrossing your legs, and thrusting your chest forward give the message that you are interested.

As for ways to send a single man packing, crossing your arms, holding a drink high in front of you, turning your body away or resting your feet on their toes will tell a person you are not interested.

A Few Extra Tips
Hopefully by now, you have an attack plan and a clear idea of when it's time to get down and dirty, or when you're best just to wave the white flag. Here are just a few more tips when trying to perfect your body language skills:

You'll know things are going really well when you begin "mirroring" one another's body language and gestures.
Don’t tease single men by offering more than you plan to follow through. This can lead to very ugly circumstances.
Chain smoking, being extremely intoxicated, or having eyes only for your plate of food will not put you in the best standing for the body language game.
If you try your hand at it, and he's not responding, abort the mission immediately.…
Following him around all night will only serve in making you look needy and desperate.

And finally, if all else fails, buy yourself a T-shirt that reads, "Looking for Love."


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FIRST IMPRESSIONS FOR MEN
In you stroll, looking hot in that new dress or suit with the Manolo's or Jimmy Choo shoes. You know you look good after all, it cost you a fortune. You are feeling confident due to the way you are looking and you know he wants you. Go get him girl. Does that ring true? Well maybe, maybe not. On the other hand, in you stroll, black Armani or Hugo Boss suit, Italian leather shoes, handmade shirt. You are feeling good, you are feeling successful, you are feeling confident. Yes, my friends, in this fatuous day and age we are what we wear.

Now I am not saying that we need to spend a King's ransom on the latest designer gear, fashions, style and hand crafted luxury wear from Italy or wherever. But I am suggesting that when we dress well we feel good, we believe we look good and we feel we can do anything we choose. So when dating, its important to look good because if you do, you will feel good too. Good style means a good level of confidence.

Forget arguing about body shape and expense in your defense against my argument here, it doesn't wash. You can look stylish and classic whatever your shape within reason and whatever your budget. Black will always be classic and well tailored clothes will always look a cut above the rest. I cannot walk down any high street or through any mall these days without being inundated with a sense of style. Everywhere we look there are shops desperate to dress you well. The fact that you don't choose to go in them is not the point. Therefore turning up for your first date in a comfy sweatshirt or sports top may make you feel relaxed but it shows absolute contempt for your date who has spent the best part of the last two hours getting ready for your squalid self. Get a grip man.

Okay so whilst my female readership doesn't need a lecture in self presentation generally, my male readership often does. The first thing I want you to remember men is that a woman will judge you by looking straight down at your shoes. You may not see what the fuss is about but she may as well be looking straight past your shoes, all the way down to hell. The fact is, the truth is in the detail. You have washed and scrubbed up well, but casting a more detailed glance over you and the small discrepancies are soon revealed. Missing cufflinks, tie all over the place, missing shirt button etc. All mean that deep down either you are a deeply wild and windswept sex god or you are a disaster in the making who has no idea of style and presentation. If you can't dress yourself buddy, what makes you think you can undress her.

But shoes are the biggest giveaway because men think of them as practical necessities that are comfortable rather than looking at the style involved. It is obvious what is classic and in fashion right now, simply turn your eyes and look through the window of the nearest ubiquitous show store. Once you have bought them, ensure they match the rest of the outfit. No don't mix brown with black and if shoeshine cream is as rare as diamonds in your apartment then get back to the shop and sort it out. Good shoes mean that you have attention to detail, she has seen and she has noted!

Men often make the mistake of thinking that the woman is relaxed and kind of a casual gal so he doesn't need to go mad when meeting up. He can be smart but casual. I have news for you, most men are casual, not smart but casual. It doesn't happen in my experience. Men have no idea at all what is like to get ready as a woman. The fact that you look subtle and classically understated is lost on a man. He thinks it took you 5 minutes to get ready. He has no idea. Which is why he threw on the white shirt that needed an iron and a pair of casual trousers in such a carefree fashion.

Do not believe GQ-style magazines, however marvelous they are. Whilst there is a small core of very well dressed men out there, they are not the norm. Take your average guy shopping to the mall on a Saturday afternoon and see how long he lasts. Whilst men have a better idea about appearance and do know some label makes and names, they are still eons behind women. But all is not lost. A man with a career can sort himself out in a few easy steps, he simply needs to get his wallet out.

Every man over the age of 25 should have a black, classic, single-breasted, good-quality suit together with the same in navy blue. He should have a casual jacket and a collection of plain colored well made cotton shirts. He should have three pairs of good quality leather shoes, in black and brown and they should be modern and in good condition. A man should have a good quality masculine watch. This is very important as it is possibly the only piece of jewelry a man may ever display. Okay a watch is a timepiece and a necessity but it speaks volumes about you. Some women have expressed a liking for men with large masculine sports watches, but whatever you do wear, it should be a classic as it will speak volumes about your taste.

You should always carry on you a good quality leather wallet that is not stuffed with receipts, preferably in black which you always wear within a jacket pocket, not stuffed into a pocket of your trousers. Whilst you may begin to think I am trying to describe James Bond, you are not far wrong. You can do far worse than to watch a Bond movie to get a sense of class and style. Neither am I suggesting that you alter your image from that which is really you. But as we are discussing first impressions, then you will need to think carefully about the way you do present yourself.

I can only think of a handful of men in my lifetime who do smart but casual well. For many men, it means jeans and a crumpled shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Take a good look about you and think long and hard about your current image and get some feedback from female friends as to how they really perceive your look. You may get a nasty shock. If you are pleasantly surprised then you are on your way.

Finally, though I have spelt this out before, I will do it one more time. Looking good is important, as is feeling comfortable. However along with this you should smell good. For men, Aftershave and cologne of a high quality are essential, and the less mainstream the better. For a start, if it is not one of the perennial brands then your date may not have smelled the scent before and will find it unusual and possibly attractive. She will most certainly notice. This is all part of making a good impression. It shows you have made an effort for her and you care. More than one Aftershave is good, a lemon based on for day wear and a heavier woody cologne for the evening with a hint of musk. But always consult and test because many Aftershaves do not suit some types of skin. So spray and then walk round the store before deciding.

Looking and smelling good is not a one-off situation. For second and subsequent dates you need to keep up the good work so I am not recommending your first impression-making attempts are not really you. I really am suggesting you take a long hard look at your current image and begin to change things for the better if necessary. And certainly for the long term. Finally, remember that your efforts will be appreciated even if nothing is ever said. In one short phrase, first impressions count.


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KISSING
Kissing is probably the most physically romantic two single people can get. There really is no wrong way to kiss. The thing to remember is that everybody kisses differently and different singles prefer different ways of kissing. Some people, believe it or not, are appalled at the idea of French Kissing or using your tongue while you kiss, while other singles can't imagine kissing without using their tongue. The thing is to try kissing that single person a few times before deciding how you and your partner prefer kissing and to get used to the way that person kisses.

Kissing Tips
Relax
· Move gently to your partner and put your arms around them.
· Move your mouth towards them and your lips meet, keep them slightly parted and press gently against their lips. Move your head a little to the side, so your nose won't get in the way.
· What you do next depends on their reaction. If they respond then carry on kissing if you sense no active response then move your lips apart slowly and gently let go of your partner and look into their eyes.
· If you feel that the signals are right then again gently start to kiss your partner and if they respond then you can begin to kiss a little more passionately. The golden rule is to be gentle and try to read your partners feelings.
· If either of you wears glasses, just take them off if you wish before kissing.
· A sure way to ruin a kiss is with bad breath use mints or similar beforehand.
· A non-smoker may not enjoy kissing a smoker, use mints as above.

French Kissing Tips
A French kiss are kisses in which you use your tongues.
· Put your arms around the person you want to kiss.
· Begin with a slow kiss; you can close your eyes if you wish.
· Slowly and gently open your mouth and softly nudge the other person's mouth open using your tongue.
· Gently, move your tongue inside the other person's mouth and touch their tongue.
· If your partner seems tense or start to slowly pull away, stop what you are doing.
· If they open their mouth more or otherwise indicate they like the kiss, keep on doing what you have been only with a little more passion.
· As the kissing gets going saliva build up can be a problem, don't forget to swallow.
· Keep your tongue relaxed but your lips tight (saliva again), as you don't want the kiss to turn wet and messy.
· Do not get over forceful - be gentle.
· Enjoy it!

Can you "catch something" by kissing?
Yes anything from a cold to a serious sexually transmitted disease. Kissing is not 100% safe so if you are concerned or worried ask your partner if they are ill and don't kiss them if you do not feel safe.

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BEING SINGLE
Being single means different things to each of us. For some it is a way of life. For a small minority, it is the way we always will be. For most of us, it is a constant battle with optimism. Hope springs eternal they say. We weren't designed to spend our lives alone. For the solitary monk it may be a life of dedication but for us mere mortals, its is a state of being that we hope is temporary.

Being single is not easy. It means first of all that we are daily responsible for every decision we make. We can't share decision making because there is no one close enough to share things with. We trust our friends but we will not have formed as close a bond as we do in a long term personal relationship. Therefore it us up to us to decide what we do each day, whether we go to work, what we will have for dinner, where we will go at a weekend, what we do on vacation and where and how we socialize.

When we get home in an evening there isn't anyone there (which is why so often we have cats and dogs) to welcome us. We prepare dinner alone (or don't bother), run a bath, take a shower and generally live a solitary existence punctuated by our social life and friends as well as work routine. One of the primary issues about being single is not being able to discuss things on our mind when we want to. In social circles we can to an extent and we may call up friends on the phone but this lacks the deeper understanding and compassion we receive from a close partner in a relationship.

We like to play ideas off each other, discuss, talk, think aloud and have pillow talk about the future. All of this is missing when single. Occasional dates or romantic encounters may provide passing closeness but in effect we remain single still. There is something interesting on the TV, but we won't chat about that until we are at work. We have an ailment that worries us, who do we discuss that with? There is an issue with a person at work, what should we do. Friends and family play their part but they don't fill that singleness we are likely to feel.

Cooking for one is a painful experience. What is the point of cooking a nice meal if there is no one to share it with. There is a great movie but we will watch it alone. We need to go shopping and get something new for the apartment but we are going to have to do without the fun of deciding together. Then of course there is sex. Sex-for-one is well known to most singles but its generally not what we were designed for.

Close relationships offer companionship, understanding, empathy, friendship as well as love and romance and without them, we are pretty much left to our own devices to fill that void. When we are younger there is so much to focus on that it may not be such an issue but as we get older we begin to discover that visiting the wonders of the world alone is deeply dissatisfactory.

Being single is a heightened sense because our society emphasizes couples. From meals for two in the grocery store, to paying for single supplements in hotels; much is set against the single person. Why do we pay extra for a single bed when on vacation? The we have our friends who are in couples which does much to heighten our sense of singledom. Dinner parties mean we are excluded due to not having a partner, or we are matched up with some geek we have little in common with by friends desperate to pair us off.

Adult society in the West is made up of approximately 33% single people and this is increasing at a remarkable rate. Admittedly in many areas of the service industry, singles are being seen as a new market and opportunities to cash in on single life are steadily coming into the market place. But again it emphasis a state of play we may not wish to be reminded of. When we set off outdoors on a weekend we will encounter many many couples along the way and we find ourselves wondering what it is about them that got them together when we are total treasures that no one appears to discover?

Therefore being single means being optimistic. It means keeping positive in the face of adversity. That adversity manifests itself through the thought in the back of our heads that whispers 'what if..'. What if we meet someone tomorrow, what if we spend out lives alone and never meet anyone again, what ever we never fall in love, what if no one actually likes us, what if we were meant to remain single. And it is this whispering that we fight to keep at bay daily by fighting to remain optimistic.

Optimism comes from the general knowledge that most of us will meet someone, we will find Mr. Right or Miss Right soon enough. But as we get older, we start to worry, even start to silently panic. If we are to meet our perfect match it has to happen before we are too old. We would like it to happen whilst we are still young enough. And as anyone in their 30's appreciates, as we get older , so time speeds up. In our twenties, time seemed endless. But as the wrinkles in the corner of our eyes demonstrates, one day we wake up and we are older, much older. And we are still single.

Being single is to an extent a triumph,. It means we have avoided the disappointment of dating disasters, wrong choices, and loneliness within a terrible relationship. It means we still have our own choices and our own sense of direction. We have the full sense of self determination and control over destiny. But at the same time it wears us down. It may be hard to admit, but the vast majority of us don't like being single. In fact we hate it.

We hate it because we don't get to share. We don't get to make happen the sharp image in our head of the perfect relationship we know is possible with the right partner. We have a never ending well of 'giving' that so far has been ignored. We want to give and we want to please. We wish to love and we want that opportunity. We are ready and willing but we are not allowed. Its almost like being in an isolation cell in prison. Being single heightens our sense of the need to give and it heightens the sense of frustration accordingly.

Being single isn't a cornfield full of casual sex, boozy nights, general lack of responsibility and carefree existence over the age of 25. Its a burden that many of us carry. Through failed relationships we have built up a mental list of the things we will never accept again in a relationship and at the same time it provokes and overpowering explanation of what we really do hope for. Being single isn't about choices, it is about circumstances. We know that had we been a certain place, had a certain life, then we probably wouldn't be single. But where we find ourselves today means that we are. Well we are for the time being.

By dating we keep our hopes alive. We realize that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. And whilst the most recent suitor may not have been the one for us, at least we are heading in the right direction. And that's how many of us cope with being single. We do everything we can to keep our hopes alive. We convince ourselves that being single is by choice and that we are just waiting to meet the right one. And that's true, that's exactly what we are doing. But the 'what if' whispers away. Our body clocks may tick louder, our hair may thin, but we KNOW we will get there in the end. We hope.

Being single means living with a sense of frustration that little else can match. We don't have the answers as to why we are alone. We even ask 'why me?' This isn't how we have envisaged our lives, this isn't how we saw our future. So why has it happened? What went wrong. Where did we go wrong? Where are all the nice guys and girls. Maybe they have all been snapped up. Maybe there simply aren't any and we are fooling ourselves. Then we remind ourselves of the few examples of great friends in great relationships and this provides us with the temporary proof we need. And then we begin to question ourselves further. We may even question our own judgment, wondered if we have missed our best opportunity to be in a good relationship. Maybe we are simply too choosey? Maybe it really is all our fault. But of course it isn't.

When vacations and national holidays and Christmas come along, then we are reminded heavily just what being single feels like. On Valentine's day we are also reminded that we are yet again this year solitary creatures. However this year will be different. We feel it. We have our sights set one on or two potentials and who knows where things may lead. Who knows, by Christmas we could be engaged.

Married people often think the grass is greener on the other side. People in bad relationships dream of the freedom of being single. I have been told many times that I don't know how lucky I am to be single. The next time someone says that to me, I will go over and stick my finger in their eye and remind myself indeed how lucky I am that I decided to do that..all by myself.

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